For your enjoyment.
Jeffish: So, you still haven't told me what's new.
Me: Are you eating my banana? Where did you get that banana?!
Jeffish: It was on the counter, and I'm cleaning the counter...
Me: So you don't even WANT to eat the banana? It's my banana!!! It's my oatmeal's banana!!
Jeffish: What? I don't even want to eat the banana, it was here on the counter!
Me: Then why are you eating my banana?!
I mean, it WAS the last banana. My brother eats things when he doesn't think anyone wants it. The truth is, most of the time, people want to eat it, but we all think he loves it more than we do. So even if he doesn't like eating _____, he ends up eating it all. And the rest of us are so sad because we didn't get to eat any ______.